In the time between my last entry and this one, a new year has come, along with a new president even. My trip back home seemed to pass in one instant, and I now find myself back in my apartment in Dhaka, as if it were all just a dream. It was something I had been looking forward to since October, marked on my calendar with pretty foil stars. Now I have a craving for something to look forward to, something so I can get out of the routine of waking up to my phone alarm at 6:00 in the morning, waiting for my bus to pick me up at 8:05, leaving work at 5:15...even for just a moment. Yet there is nothing, no blue or gold stars on the upcoming months of my calendar; instead, they are starkly bare. And perhaps that is another reason for my lack of motivation.
I even had a great list of New Year's Resolutions: do crunches every morning, look presentable when leaving the apartment, be less sarcastic, work on having healthier relationships, plan my future post-Fulbright life. Within less than two weeks into the new year, I had already failed at all of these goals to which I was so committed. The only one that I have been semi-successful at is reading more, and now I am grateful that I dragged a mini library half way across the world in one of the two big suitcases. Camille, if you are reading this...sorry, but no progress on The Post-Birthday World.
Those people who are close to me know that I can not stay unmotivated for too long. So perhaps my writing this entry in a sign that something inside me has ignited, giving me the energy to keep on going for the second half of my time here in Dhaka. Maybe. We'll see.